Mind Control

Kyle made this bracelet for me last week.



He typed it up on our label maker and it says "wow woo wow" - sounds happy people make. He said that it would make me happy when I look at. Sweet huh? That's what I thought until I realized his true intent...

This is a mind control device designed to weaken my parental control.

Example #1:

Me: Kyle, it's time to stop coloring. We have to go.

Kyle: I'm not done yet.

Me: Kyle, we're late and I'm starting to get upset.

Kyle: Look at your bracelet dad... (Sly look out of the corner of his eye , as if he just cast some sort of ecstasy spell on me)... Now how do you feel?

Example #2:

Kyle: Can I have one? Can I have one? Can I have one?

Me: No.

Kyle: Hey dad. Look at your bracelet!... (pause for bracelet powers to take effect)...

Now can I have one?

Unfortunately, I'm finding that it actually works a little bit. Somebody get this thing off of me. FREEDOOOOM!

Let It Out

Kyle: This Black-Eyed Peas remix is making me want to cry.


Me: Cry?


Kyle: Yeah, like cry with joy because it's so beautiful.


Me: Wow. Okay. Go ahead and let it out.

Finding Dinosaurs

Me: "Joelle, please stop picking your nose."



Joelle: "I not picking my nose. I finding dinosaurs."



The she pulled a large booger from her nose, held it in the air in front of her and said, "Whoa, look. It's a T-Rex!"



Dig on my gross little paleontologist. Dig on.

First Impressions

I brought my son to work today for 20 minutes while he waited for his mom to pick him up. He announced to everybody in the office that he LOVES to eat his boogers. We're gonna have to work on first impressions.

Little Marathoner

We told Kyle he could sprint the last 50 yards of his mom's half-marathon with her. In retrospect, I should have communicated a little better with Christina on that detail. Chaos ensued and the little dude almost took out a few runners.

We waited a little ways before the finish and I told Kyle he would have to run extra fast to keep up with her. Having just run 14 miles, she was a little out of it when she came by, and I think she forgot that he wanted to run the last bit with her, so she said hi and kept running towards the finish line. But Kyle had not forgotten. He took off after her... FAST, and Christina had no idea he was behind her. I was left standing there holding Joelle and a bunch of other bags, food and jackets, watching runners dodge him until he slipped out of my vision. Found him standing on the finish line about to get railroaded by some Kenyans. Haha!

Parenting fail #572...

Photo Courtesy of Rahul Maharaj